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| A Mental
Hospital |
After hearing that one of the patients in a
mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him
out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and
called him into his office.
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that
you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later
killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to
dry." |
| Eye Surgery |
While my
friend was working as a receptionist for an eye
surgeon, a very
angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone
stole my wig while I was having surgery
yesterday," she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down.
"I assure you that no one on my staff would have
done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think
it was taken here?"
"After the operation, I noticed the wig I was
wearing was cheap-looking and ugly."
"I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that
means your cataract operation was a success." |
| Feel Better Now |
Mary was having a
tough day and had stretched herself out on the
couch to do a bit of what she thought to be
well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.
She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves
me ... the whole world hates me!"
Her brother, busily occupied playing a game,
hardly looked up at her and passed on this
encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some
people don't even know you." |
| You've Got Mail |
A man was sitting
on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that
his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox,
opened it, and returned to her home empty
handed.
About five minutes later, he saw the blonde
again. She checked the mailbox and once again,
returned to her house empty handed.
She did this two more times before the man
decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep
coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?"
the man asked.
"Because," replied the blonde, "my computer
keeps telling me that I've got mail!" |
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